I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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