can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
