yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
