dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
