Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
