I think I won the penis lottery.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize