I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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