I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
