So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
