i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
