rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
