It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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