Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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