So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
