just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
