I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
