shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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