went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
