the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
