dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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