Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
