There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
