We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
