i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
