So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
