Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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