Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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