Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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