He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
bring money and cleavage
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize