her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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