they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
