The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
