so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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