therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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