If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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