hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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