therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
