Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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