Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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