hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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