i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
