Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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