So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
