The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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