Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
