in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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