When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So vagazzling was a success
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
