And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
