sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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