its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
