so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize