im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
