I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
why is half of my head shaved?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
