Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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