I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
