We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That's how pantless uber rides happen
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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