South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That accounts for only three of the penises
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
