We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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