At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
