you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm bleeding and have questions
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
