He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
