smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
