When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
