Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
