I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
