Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
