So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize