I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
