i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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