Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
