Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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