can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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