dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
